Sunday, September 25, 2011

Girls and Romance Novels

Ok, let’s face it- we females, as a general rule, are automatically drawn to romance.  We love to hear stories of how couples met and married (often we don’t care if it is a married couple- just as long as we get a good picture of a kissing couple or more). We jump at the chance to see a romantic movie or read a romantic novel.  Today I want to talk about our attraction to these things and how we can rein in our desires so that our lives will be more pleasing to the Lord. I am sure that a lot of my readers will not appreciate some of what I am going to say, but bear with me!!
I was reading the newest book by Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar not too long ago and one phrase seemed to jump out of the page at me and I want to use it as the basis for our teaching this week.  “Romance novels are to women what pornography is to men.” Wow! What a way of looking at it. Now before you stop reading this article, hear me out. I want to share with you some things that I believe the Lord has shown me about this subject.
If you think of it, women really are drawn to romance in much the same way men are to looking at unclean pictures/videos/etc. Many of us girls crave it. We hear of the latest romance novel and we can’t wait to read it. A good portion of our mind and attention is devoted to love related themes. I think part of the reason for this is that God made us to want romance and for most of us a big portion of our lives will be with a man- our husbands- and with that comes along plenty of romance! But, let us look at some of the side effects to spending a lot of time in the romance department as single women.
Most of the romance books we read are nothing more than plain fiction. They deceive us and lead our hearts down a path of deception and false hopes for things that do not exist. They give us false expectations of what life is like. Even many Christian romance novels describe intimate scenes that girls should not be feeding themselves on. Recently one of my friends wanted me to read a portion of a supposedly Christian romance novel that she was finding very enjoyable. Well, I read it and while, yes, the part I read was very intriguing, it was also explicit about how the unmarried couple fit together while they hugged, how their bodies felt against one another, and what the kisses were like. It may have had a good story about a couple who had to unlearn some of their pre-conceived notions in order to be able to truly live and be together, but everything that went along with it made the book worth little. To make it short, romance novels are just that- novels. Pure fiction that is threatening to rob us of the thrill and awakening that God has for us to share with our husbands.
This also goes for romantic movies/comedies. I usually am not much of a reader, so the romance books do not draw me that much. But, when it comes to movies……… I can quickly be drawn in just as easily as someone can be to books. In a way, I believe that romantic movies can be even more deceiving and damaging to us than the books. Why? Because with a book, we are reading the words and our minds depict the images we see associated with what the book is saying. With a movie, the images are already there and then our minds are free to take it even further- what happened after the camera turned away.  This is why we also need to be careful what we watch as well as what we read.
Also, one thing we need to have extreme guard over is the fact that most romantic novels, movies, etc support behavior that is only meant for married couples- even a lot of Christian entertainment supports inappropriate images. And the longer you feed yourself on these scenes, the more your values will decrease and soon you will not see anything wrong with doing these actions yourself before marriage. And if you continue to let it go, then eventually you won’t see anything wrong with acting unholy with every man that comes along. Another reason why we have to guard what we put in us- ‘Know ye not that a little leaven leaveneth the whole lump?’ 1 Cor. 5:6 Unlike in the fiction books and movies, where even when you make mistakes, you leave feeling so good and everything works out anyway- in real life there is real pain and regret following actions that displease our Father.
So, what can we do to avoid these pitfalls that have been set for us- sometimes by people that truly have meant no ill by it? As I said before, we ladies are going to be drawn to the romantic world and if we don’t give ourselves something clean to take the place of the bad, then we will fall back into the pit of lies and deception given us by the romantic thieves of the day. The good news is that we can read and watch pure things pertaining to the romantic nature- things that will not defile us but strengthen our desire to live humbly before the Lord.
As for books, try reading true stories of couples that lived their lives in purity before the Lord, waiting for each other till God brought them together. These stories are real romance. Read books that encourage you to wait in purity for your man. Read books that will strengthen your walk, not build fantasies about a world that doesn’t exists.
Be very careful in your choice of movies. I for one appreciate the Jane Austin movies. There are different versions to each story and some are better than others, but I find Jane Austin to be appropriate and even a good lesson to go along.  I haven’t read the books, so I can’t vouch for them, but I am sure they are good in nature. BBC has put out some good movies as well.  
But don’t let Jane Austin or other more appropriate books or movies become your obsession. Broaden your horizon by reading other topics. Don’t let your world be so full of romance that you don’t have time for other subjects. Most importantly- make Jesus your obsession. Only He can fill the void places in your mind and heart.
“Finally sisters, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, WHATSOEVER THINGS ARE PURE, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.” Philippians 4:8
In Christ love,
Anna Ruth

No comments:

Post a Comment